John Stamos stopped by Late Night With Seth Meyers last night for a segment called "A Message to My Younger Self" in which celebrities give advice to their younger selves. Some warn against disaster (Keri Russell warned her younger self against cutting her hair during the second season of Felicity), some tease an exciting career highlight (Henry Cavill telling his Batman-idolizing younger self that he does technically get to be in a cool Batman movie). But John Stamos gave his younger self the secret to all of his success: his eternal youth.
"Hey little John, you will have a fantastic life as long as you make sure you do one thing," Stamos explains. "Now on your eighteenth birthday the Prince of Darkness, Satan, will offer you eternal youth in exchange for your soul. Little John, I'm telling you right now... you take that deal, son."
It makes sense that something supernatural would be involved with John Stamos' appearance. How else could he really look this good? Have you seen how he looks on Fuller House? (Don't watch Fuller House. Just take our word for it.) The man looks exactly the same. That deal with the devil was worth it.
And if you think that's the strangest part of Meyers' segment think again, because it ends with a somber John Goodman story about a one-eyed dog haunting him. Seriously. Which reminds me, I need to find a way to tell my younger self that sour cream is good, because I missed out on a lot of prime baked potato years as a kid. Why are the youths so foolish?