Photo/Illutration Kan smiles during his wedding ceremony in Britain in September 2021. (Provided by Kan)

An aide to Prime Minister Fumio Kishida who was sacked over a homophobic tirade said some Japanese people would “abandon” their country if same-sex marriage was legalized.

Japanese people are indeed leaving their homeland, but because same-sex marriage has not been legalized.

A 31-year-old man who goes by the name of Kan, for example, left Japan to marry his same-sex partner in Britain.

“I decided to live in Britain, but I can’t say I made the decision completely on my own,” Kan said. “I wasn’t given much choice.”

Kan said many other Japanese people live in London with their same-sex British spouses for the same reason: Gay marriage is not recognized in Japan.

Kan met his 28-year-old British partner while studying at a graduate school in Britain in 2016. They started dating, and Kan began thinking about their future together.

Kan returned to Japan, landed a job and kept a long-distance relationship with his partner.

The British man was kind enough to say he wanted to live in Japan. Kan also desired to stay close to his family and friends in his home country.

But Kan expected problems without the rights that are given to heterosexual married couples.

For example, he knew it would be bothersome finding a rental apartment that could be shared by two male occupants.

The couple would also be unable to provide spousal consent for surgery or receive explanations about medical procedures if either one of them became injured or sick.

And they wouldn’t be legally recognized as each other’s heir.

Realistically speaking, they had no choice but to live outside Japan to start their lives together, Kan said.

In July 2021, Kan entered Britain on a fiance visa and they were married in September.

As a spouse of a British citizen, Kan can receive public health care for free.

More importantly, Kan said, they are treated accordingly when they introduce themselves as a married couple.

He had a choice to marry because his partner is a citizen of a country where same-sex marriage is legal.

He said opposite-sex couples in Japan may not know the difficulties faced by gay couples.

“I want them to realize that they are privileged to have options,” Kan said.

Kan first found himself attracted to men when he was a junior high school student. The realization tormented him.

He went to Canada to study when he was a fourth-year university student and made friends there with many sexual minorities.

Seeing how they were happy about being themselves, Kan realized that he should also live that way.

To help others with similar worries, Kan uses social media to call for legal rights for sexual minorities and share how he spends his everyday life with his partner.

“When I recall my days of anguish, I feel I must express my thoughts,” Kan added.

SOCIETY IS CHANGING

When asked about legalizing same-sex marriage during a Diet session, Kishida expressed caution, saying it would “change society.”

However, a nationwide survey on sexual minorities conducted by researchers in 2019 showed that more than 60 percent of respondents were in favor of legalizing same-sex marriage.

Asked about the comments by Kishida, Kan said: “Society has already changed. (His words) almost sounded like we are the bad guys who are changing society, but isn’t it you who must change?”

Hiroaki Yoshii, a sociologist well-versed in discrimination issues, said the former aide’s remarks were classic examples of discrimination and hatred toward homosexuality.

Yoshii also emphasized that the comments should be seen as an attack against not only sexual minorities.

“A society that refuses to respect individual differences, whether they are sexual minorities, disabled people, elderly or children, can become a place where everyone discriminates against others or be discriminated against,” Yoshii said. “We, as a whole society, must continue thinking about discrimination issues, instead of believing the issue has ended with the firing of the aide.”

(This article was written by Midori Iki and Honomi Honma.)

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